I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
