Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
