just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
