did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
