she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
