you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
