Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
