Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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