then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
wow bdsm is so cute
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
