I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
