"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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