I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
