ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Hippo gnu deer
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
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