Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
