ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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