oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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