weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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