Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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