yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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