My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
