Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Randomize
