You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
