U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
