i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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