We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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