Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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