And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
