My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
