You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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