the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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