Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
