Moan for me like Helen Keller
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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