remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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