He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
