Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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