just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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