You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
My life is pants optional.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
