I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
