When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
