I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
