Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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