Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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