I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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