Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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