Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
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Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
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It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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