I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
