my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize