I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
