god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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