That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize