sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
