its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
