Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
The air taste purple.
Randomize
