We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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