so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
