I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
