That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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