He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
