Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
