you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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