I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
