Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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