"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
