Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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