I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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